Comment

Dear Cherie,

I think the ad campaign your group is organizing has the power to do more and would therefore recommend some amendments to the text:

1. "Most citizens of New Orleans, especially those of us in Lakeview, desperately want to return home" - I suggest: "The citizens of New Orleans and the surrounding areas desperately want to return home." While it's true that some may not want to return home, I think the message is more powerful when the assumption is that everyone wants to return home. Include the surrounding areas because funding from the federal level will not be New Orleans-centric. While the Lakeview reference gives a human, neighborhood touch, it raises the question of how widespread your call is. Others have raised this issue on fundable.org and I think they make a good point. Widen the scope by avoiding specific neighborhood references (this is also important in terms of attracting funding for this and future ad campaigns from a wider public!)

2. "return our city to commerce" - Not sure of the verb "to commerce", though I know what it means.

3. "But we can’t in good faith encourage our friends and families to return home" - I'd add businesses to friends and families...

4. "Please take a stand and demand that Category 5 flood protection be instituted." This is a tough one: many will ask why it is necessary to build an extensive Cat 5 protection system for areas that a. are devastated anyway and b. will probably be uninhabited and vulnerable for the years it will take to build such a system (and perhaps even after such a system is built). Some will argue that a geographically limited Cat 5 system, wetlands restoration, and focus on densification on less vulnerable areas should be the emphasis. I personally think that rebuilding a better New Orleans requires much more than a protection system and that such an ad campaign can couple several urgent priorities to which federal assistance should go. Coordinating with other groups may mean that the Lakeview residents consider these arguments. As it stands, your ad text focuses on Cat 5 levees...

5. "The displaced residents of Lakeview respectfully ask that you use your power immediately, and help us rebuild our lives and secure a bright future for our children and our children’s children." - Great sentence, but again I think the Lakeview-specific element may detract from the objectives.

6. PAID FOR BY HOMELESS NEW ORLEANS RESIDENTS SCATTERED ACROSS THE COUNTRY. - I'm not sure this is true, especially as the ad makes repeated reference to residents of Lakeview, many of whom are already back in New Orleans, I hear. Non-New Orleanians may be contributing to your campaign, in addition to New Orleanians in New Orleans. You might consider something like Paid for by citizens and friends of New Orleans, or ...by Americans. Period.

Best of luck! I hope we can coordinate efforts in the future!

Michael Rolufs